InsaneJournal

Current mood:	depressed
Entry tags:	friend

Sometimes I hate that I feel for her the way I do.

She's hurting, but she's so far away... She wants physical contact to help her hurt feelings now that she knows the girl she ... well basically loved... has set it to be known that though she would not reject my friend, she wouldn't be interested in her either. The woman went back to her boyfriend and my friend is back to watching from afar, never able to actually tell.

And I am sitting here in the same boat. But I am so far away she would never consider it. The distance... it's like a knife. I kept my mouth shut beause I knew of her feelings for this other woman. I keep my mouth shut because I know she is not looking for a true relationship right now. I keep my mouth shut... because I fear it wouldn't do any good. I'm just the friend. Just the good friend everyone can turn to... count on... but not good enough to take as their own. I know Eric married me because I was the only one he had ever been with who returned the affections he gave. He was so used to being turned down that he decided to hold on to me. I'm sure love had something to do with it, but he has said that was one of te reasons why he asked me to marry him...

So... I am nothing more than the left over. The last resort... not someone others would think twice over... I'm just...

Forever the friend...